Loss · Mental health and wellbeing

Breast…(middle ground)…bottle

I’ve never really spoken about breastfeeding, because it can be such an emotive topic. However, I now also realise that this may be because of my own complicated emotions towards it. I breastfed exclusively for about 7 months before shifting to mixed feeding after E started weaning, stopping completely at 10 months. I said I loved…… Continue reading Breast…(middle ground)…bottle

Mental health and wellbeing

Maternal Mental Health Matters…..even when your baby died

‘No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing. At other times it feels like being mildly drunk, or concussed. There is a sort of invisible blanket…… Continue reading Maternal Mental Health Matters…..even when your baby died

Mental health and wellbeing

Me, thee and PND

“I think you’re depressed’ The words that still ring through my ears when I think about the day that the perinatal mental health nurse turned up at my door.  It had been a difficult morning; baby refusing to sleep, pacing the house wearing the sling.  Much like many of the days that had preceded really. …… Continue reading Me, thee and PND

Mental health and wellbeing · Parenting

And then she was one

And just like that, she was one.   Except, when I really think about it, it wasn’t ‘just like that’ at all.  The first year of parenting after loss has been a complete rollercoaster; a Big Dipper, with the highest of highs and the lowest of lows and one that I have desperately wanted to…… Continue reading And then she was one

Mental health and wellbeing · Uncategorized

Help…..I need somebody (or something)…

  Over the past week or so, I have seen a few worrying examples online of people asking for help for their mental health and having some really difficult and invalidating experiences.  And whilst psychologists do not take a hippocratic oath, I felt that I couldn’t sit back and say nothing, in case I could…… Continue reading Help…..I need somebody (or something)…

Loss · Mental health and wellbeing

Somewhere over the rainbow….PND sadly still exists

I’m not sure where you even start with a post such as this; it’s hard to know whether there even is a beginning, and I certainly haven’t reached the end yet, so I guess it’s a case of starting from where I am now.   I have been experiencing postnatal depression.   If I’m honest,…… Continue reading Somewhere over the rainbow….PND sadly still exists

Loss · Mental health and wellbeing

Regret me not: Coping with regrets in life after loss

  Regret; the sense of sadness or repentance for having done or not done something.   I carry an overwhelming sense of regret in this life I live after loss, and it is something that can be a heavy burden to bear.  After all, there is no going back, no changing what has been done…… Continue reading Regret me not: Coping with regrets in life after loss