Mental health and wellbeing · Pregnancy after loss

Feel the fear and do it anyway (because you have no choice in pregnancy after loss)

  I must begin by saying that this is a long one; clearly anxiety was a very big deal in PAL!  I must also say that this post doesn’t go into what I did to manage my anxiety, as I want to do that justice elsewhere.  This is just me trying to make sense of…… Continue reading Feel the fear and do it anyway (because you have no choice in pregnancy after loss)

Pregnancy after loss

The beginnings of processing pregnancy after loss

I feel that this will be the first of a series of posts, since if I write about it all now, it could take days to read.  There is so much swimming around in my head about my nine months of pregnancy after loss, and I want to give it the time and space it…… Continue reading The beginnings of processing pregnancy after loss

Pregnancy after loss

When reassurance is less than reassuring

I am sure that there are many reasons as to why the last few weeks have been increasingly difficult emotionally.  Why I have needed more support and more reassurance and why I have turned up at MAU twice in one week.  As time moves forwards and this baby grows, the reality that we may be…… Continue reading When reassurance is less than reassuring

Pregnancy after loss

The long second trimester

Looking back, the second trimester seemed to go on forever.  Despite being incredibly busy in one way or another, the weeks felt long and the anxiety and worry seemed to gradually build.  Whereas in the first trimester, I was able to adopt a more ‘whatever happens’ attitude (a sense that there was very little I…… Continue reading The long second trimester

Pregnancy after loss

The first trimester

Looking back at my diary entries from this time seems like a lifetime ago; this pregnancy has moved incredibly slowly for me: each week, day, sometimes hour, feeling like a lifetime.  However, what I do remember of the first trimester was the safety of the secret bubble.  Only Andy, myself and our midwife knew that…… Continue reading The first trimester

Pregnancy after loss

Learning to ask for help

  As I reach the third trimester, my anxieties have started to increase.  The closer we get to the time we lost Orla, the more the fear of history repeating itself kicks in.  Add in a couple of other challenges and bumps in the road, and my anxiety this week has hit an all-time peak.…… Continue reading Learning to ask for help

Mental health and wellbeing · Pregnancy after loss

Why midwives matter

  This week it was officially announced that my midwife Michelle (yes, that is quite confusing!) is the London regional winner of The Royal College of Midwives Mum’s Midwife of the Year.  I nominated Michelle back in the summer last year when we were away on our fundraising adventure and then promptly completely forgot about…… Continue reading Why midwives matter